I have really been missing Cari a lot lately. I don't know that this will ever go away.
But, with Mother's Day quickly arriving - tomorrow - it is a bitter sweet celebration.
First and foremost, I think of my mom. I know it is so difficult to know that she will receive one fewer phone call to wish her a happy mother's day. The same is true for my step-mom. That breaks my heart.
Secondly, I know that this was one of Cari's heartbreaks, that she did not think that she herself would ever be a mom...no mate and medical issues to boot.
It's difficult because I need to focus, appreciate and enjoy the fact that I am a mom without the guilty feelings that may be lurking.
All this being said, I pray for God's peace for us all and thank God for loving Cari so that she may celebrate her mom's without any of these negative thoughts and feelings. Cari had two great moms, one who she was born to and one who she was given later, both huge blessings in her life.
She was surrounded by love, and I think that she just wanted to pass that on to children of her own. I can only hope and pray that she is able to love on all of the little ones who may be with her in Heaven.
