Missing Cari!

I will continue telling Cari's story on my next post, but for now, I just want to say that I miss her. With Thanksgiving and Christmas behind us, she has been on my mind a lot. I think that it's because you are typically around family during these celebrations, and you are reminded that someone is missing. Well, we know where she is and are grateful for that, but we miss her being with us.

For some reason, life is seeming shorter and shorter to me. I see how quickly my children are growing up, and I realize that Cari is already in heaven. It makes me a little anxious sometimes. I don't want to screw up the time that I have here. I look at my kids and realize that they will never have known their Aunt Cari. And, what little my son remembers...how long will he remember that? My mind goes to a place of fear praying and hoping that God allows me to raise my children...that we are all together for a long time.

I am sad that Cari is not with us, but I also feel that God has blessed me with a wisdom that some may never know until they pass themselves; the reality of heaven; the reality of God's grace. It may sound strange, but it's a wisdom that you can only receive once you have experienced a death of a loved one followed by His peace and loving comfort that He brings.